Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
