You're so nebulous sometimes
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
