I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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