maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Randomize
