I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
