finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
