no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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