She just used a chaser for red wine.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
