he wants to bone in the snuggie
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize