Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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