oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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