I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
