Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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