I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
So much Jack, so little girl.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
