Your dad touched me again.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
