Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
