She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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