Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
This girl is more easily done than said...
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
