He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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