Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
