Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
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