Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
