Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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