Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
