Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
