I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
