It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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