they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
