Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
tequila makes me forget i have legs
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
