I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Buhtt sex?
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
