but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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