now i know why i became what i already was.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
