I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize