AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
The Olympian is in my bed
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
