Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
