I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
