i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize