maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
