Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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