So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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