They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize