wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
