Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
