Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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