Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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