Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
