You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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