i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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