apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
