i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
