he told me I talked like a deaf person
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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