So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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