Whatcha textin bout Willis?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
