you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
