Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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