I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize