I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
