Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
