cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize