8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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